Uncle Dave: The Chosen One

Only a man a great as Dave Miller could have been pure enough to be born to a virgin mother.

Uncle Dave's mother remained a virgin throughout the rest of her life. When asked why, she said that no other man could make her loins feel the way that baby Uncle Dave had on that special night. Uncle Dave left all of his women thinking that very same thought.

That night, three wise men brought gifts for baby Uncle Dave. Those gifts were Crown Royal, Johnnie Walker Black, and José Cuervo.

Uncle Dave: The Chosen One (Volume 2)

Many have questioned why the other patrons at Uncle Dave's favorite tavern (commonly referred to as "The one I'm in right now") were so shocked and amazed that it caused the hot babe on his right to faint/blackout. The answer is simple... Uncle Dave, fearing that the tavern was running low on liquor, performed a miracle. He turned water into vodka.

Many people have called this work of art "The Last Supper". Little did they know that Uncle Dave would have supper each and every day, assuming that olives and maraschino cherries can be considered 'supper'.

Calendar Boy

Uncle Dave additional gained fame early when he appeared as the cover boy for an Anne Geddes calendar. Wasn't he precious?

Crossing The Delaware

In this picture, Uncle Dave's drinking buddies are trying to raise the nets containing the beer that Dave and his long-time companion, Samuel Adams, dropped into the frigid water. They referred to The Delaware River as "The Big Beer Cooler".

During the Revolutionary War, Uncle Dave was the leader of the lesser-known "Long Island Iced Tea Party".

Hollywood - The Early Years

As a child actor, Dave Miller's unlimited talents helped him land a starring role in "The Little Rascals" as Alfalfa's brother, 'Uncle Davey Schweitzer'. It was that same talent that led to his downfall. He overshadowed the other child stars so much, that after just three weeks, he was let go and all scenes we re-shot.

A few years later, Uncle Dave would make a comeback as one half of what experts predicted would be one of the all-time great comedy duos. However, lightning would strike twice. "Uncle Dave & Hardy" also became a victim of too much talent. Oliver Hardy's frustration over being "the other guy" fueled many of his dangerous temper tantrums. Uncle Dave, fearing for his rotund partner's health and mental stability, made the unselfish decision to step aside and allow his friend to find fame with a partner of equal talent.

Ohio State University - 1936

Uncle Dave attended Ohio State University, where he was affectionately known as the "Buckeye Bullet" and won a record eight individual NCAA championships, four each in 1935 and 1936.

Uncle Dave was a man who believed in equailty for everyone regardless of their race, gender, or religion. These beliefs are what led him to step aside and let his understudy at Ohio State, Jesse Owens, take his spot at Adolph Hitler's 1936 Summer Olympics in Berlin.

As we will soon discover, Uncle Dave had plans of his own for "Der Führer".

Hollywood: Part 2

"Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, she walks into mine. Mmmmm........ gin."

"Pour it again, Sam."

"Here's drinking with you, kid."

World War 2

In 1945, General Uncle Dave Miller led the Allied Forces to victory against the Axis Of Evil. In a move of absolute military brilliance, General Uncle Dave snuck into the bunker of Adolph Hitler and assassinated the Nazi leader and his wife. Having always been a man known for avoiding the spotlight, General Uncle Dave made their deaths appear to be a double suicide.

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Years later, General Uncle Dave would allow NASA to use his signature move, "planting the flag", during the moon landing. Again, General Uncle Dave refused to take the glory for his generous actions.

Uncle Dave Makes Television History

On the debut episode of "The Uncle Dave Show", on New Year's Eve in 1959, Dave Miller made the ladies go crazy when he sang his renditions of such classics as:

Margaritaville

Red, Red Wine

Gin & Juice

Whiskey In A Jar

Friends in Low Places

Escape (The Pina Colada Song)

Tequila Sunrise

Beer for My Horses

Don't the Girls All Get Prettier at Closing Time

I Drink Alone

Why Don’t We Get Drunk and Screw

White Lightning

The Flu Changes Television History

Television history was to be made on February 8, 1964 when The Beatles were scheduled to perform on "The Uncle Dave Show". Unfortunately, earlier in the week, Dave Miller was in Punxsutawney, PA serving as Grand Marshall of the Groundhod Day festival. According to eyewitnesses, the 24th serving of Groundhog Brew that was served to Uncle Dave came from a tainted batch, which resulted in a bad case of "Brown Bottle Flu". The band was rescheduled for the February 15th airing of "The Uncle Dave Show" after having appeared on "The Ed Sullivan Show" on February 9th.